For the most part, I am a happy person. I finally met and recently married a wonderful man. I have seven children (two biological and five bonus). I have an awesome family that is a strong as the roots that were placed hundreds of years ago. I have a very diverse and dedicated circle of friends that I can count on anytime. I have a job that offers a decent salary and decent insurance. I have a vehicle. And if that one breaks, I have another one just in case. I have an old farmhouse in the country, no frills, but big enough and the kids can roam. I get my nails done, my eyebrows waxed and my hair colored. I have more shoes than I need and a plethora of jewelry that I love to wear. I smoke. I use only Bath & Body soaps.
I have all of those things because I’ve worked for them. I admit, some not as much as others. My husband just literally walked into my life. My family was already in place by the time I arrived. My friends have other friends. But I still have to nurture those relationships, if I want to keep them. I have to work at being a better mother, wife, family member and friend. It’s not a chore, but a privilege that I’m willing to take on for the benefits. My job is something that I do have to work for – I have to show up, doing my work, and sometimes more, pay my taxes, my health insurance premiums, deal with the stresses that come with it and the responsibilities that get laid upon me. I’ve been working for 18 years, the last 12 at the same place. I have to pay for my vehicles – from purchase, insurance and tags to maintenance, tires and gasoline. I have to pay for my home and all that goes with it – cleaning supplies, groceries, utilities and any extras that I should want or need. I do this with the money that I receive for doing my job. The extra things that I mentioned are bonus items – things that I buy when I can. I am definitely not one to equal the meanings of need and want.
Now for the things I do not have. I do not have luxuries, such as air conditioning, cable or a dishwasher because I was willing to trade them off for other things. I don’t have a new vehicle – no where close, actually because the thought of car payments makes me nauseous. I don’t own an iPad and even my iPod is probably 8 years old. I don’t have exotic vacations, or even vacations to see family I haven’t seen in 25 years. I do not have an abundance of restful nights free of nightmares. I do not have a lot of my childhood keepsakes because someone decided to burn them. I do not completely have my health. Brain tumors tend to steal that away anytime they feel like it. I don’t have hearing in my left ear or strength in my left leg. I don’t have faith in humanity. I don’t have trust in others outside my bubble. I don’t have patience. The point of all this is the biggest “don’t” I possess:
I DON’T GIVE MYSELF A CRUTCH.
I am so sick of laziness being rewarded. I am appalled by the sense of entitlement. From big time stories – like the ignorant man who fathered 33 kids and wanted child support to “cut him some slack” on payments because he only made minimum wage to small town women who think that a child or two entitles them to sit on their ass and collect funds.
When my payday rolls around, I don’t go and hand out money to strangers. I use that money to pay for the things my family and I need and/or want. What makes people think they’re entitled to my hard earned money by sitting on their asses doing nothing? What makes a parent (and I use this term lightly) see his/her children as meal tickets to get everything from housing and food to medical care and even cash instead of getting a job and providing like a real adult would?
If you are financially broke, don’t blame it on someone else. Others are not meal-tickets. Not a spouse (current or former), a child or anyone else. If you screwed up and went to prison and now have trouble finding a job – that is not anyone else’s fault. If you decide that the only way you can deal with life is having an addiction of some sort, it is not the sober people’s responsibility to ensure that you have a better life. If you are in the country illegally because your country sucks – that’s not an okay for you to get handouts.
Yes, I have a huge and personal distaste for people on government assistance that have no reason to be. Once, I actually witnessed a person who was on government assistance that was confronted with “get a job”…this person responded “I have a job – it’s called being mom and dad”. Seriously? What a benthic imbecile. I was single mother, one-income household, so I was mom and dad. I also worked 50+ hours a week and volunteered non-stop. I set up daycare, doctors appointments and extracurricular activities. I bathed, clothed and fed my kids. I calmed them in the middle of the night, kissed their boo-boos and grounded them when need be. I spent countless hours in their after school programs, sports and camps. Was I supposed to run out and get government compensation?
So we cater and cater to those who are lazy and worthless because they deem themselves important enough to take money from people that have actually earned it. Why? Look around the system – there are people on disability because of an addiction, people getting free rides because their countries are run by drug lords, people getting food stamps and government cash because they made poor choices. Yet, the elderly have to watch their prescription costs, Veterans are homeless and two income families struggle to make ends meet.
When is the American Dream going to go back to the fundamentals of working for what you have instead of just sticking out your hand with the “poor me” story? There is an entire generation of adults that are doing this, which in turn shows their children how to do it – so when are we finally going to say “enough is enough” make these people get up off their lazy asses and get a job?? Making minimum wage is better than making NO wage whatsoever.