All hell has broken loose – my straightener died, a vehicle broke, the furnace quit working on the coldest night, my coffee pot leaked on the counter, my computer goes at a snail’s pace, and I have a headache.  Seriously. What do I earn money for?  Things that only work when they want to?  I work to pay my bills and buy my stuff – oh, and provide for “people” that are narcissistic pieces of crap – because GOD FORBID they don’t get THEIR cut of MY household income or provide for their own!!!

1.      Manners, Discipline, Accountability:
Use please, thank you, you’re welcome, excuse me – and teach your children the same. Have some discipline. Don’t cave into your child’s tantrums or your craving for a deep fried Oreo. If you’ve done something wrong, apologize and don’t repeat it. And don’t expect to be forgiven.

2.       Get a job, a no, you DON’T deserve $15 an hour to flip a burger:
If you’re an able-bodied adult, get a job. Yeah, if it’s entry level, it’s going to pay low wages. Work your way from the bottom up. Don’t be a career welfare recipient, or a career student – pay your own way, live within your means, and create your life from there. Don’t rely on everyone else to create your life – financially, emotionally, spiritually – for you. If the job force in your field isn’t booming, move on – the world does not revolve around you and what you want. Supply and demand, people.
If you’re a teenager and want to have extra things? Get a job! Most parents struggle to provide the roof over your head, the food in your belly, and the clothes on your back (mainly because they’re supporting lazy America, but that was already covered). If you want to run all over town, get the latest music, buy the expensive clothes – earn it! My teenager has been working for 2+ years – babysitting, food vending, and started a “real” job the day after she turned 16. Do I still buy her and her sister extra things? Sure do! Because I save up for them from the job that I’ve held for years.

3.       Be Spongebob Squarepants, not a sponge (formerly titled just “Spongebob Squarepants):
Seriously – what happened to pride in the American adult? I’ve been in situations where I’ve needed help – be it a financial loan, a place to stay, or a good word – but come on! If a person relies on dear old Mom and Dad to take care of their (and their children’s!) needs, there’s a problem. This whole society of grandparents raising grandchildren is ridiculous. You all know I’m not talking about the tragic situations where something happens to a set of parents. I’d be EMBARRASSED if my parents were the providers for me and my kids! When does the family loyalty stop and the accountability start? Don’t have babies you can’t afford in the first place. Unless it’s bringing in cash, then refer to number one!

4.       FA RA RA RA RA, RA RA RA RA:
English is our language. Learn it. How annoying it is to even feel the need to state this. Yes, we’re the melting pot. But come on – think of all the struggles of each and every immigrant overcame to become an American citizen – learning English was a pretty high priority. Did it make them forget their mother language? Of course not. But the country, as a whole, did not include all the languages that came off the boats on their grocery stand’s open sign! This also goes out to those who abuse the language. It’s ridiculous. People – I don’t care what race, color, ethnicity – sound like FOOLS when these are a common sentence – “sup homies…hangin’ wit mah niggas.”, “Mah boo and I chillin’ at da crib.”, and “reppin’ da hood, who gonna hook me up?”. Yet, it’s usually those spewing such stupidity that are “demandin’ respect, yo”. While we’re at it, learn the difference between there, their and they’re.

5.       Stop. Just Stop:
Skinny kids in “wife beaters”, fat chicks in daisy dukes, ANYBODY in jeans slung below their ass. KNOCK IT OFF. Quit buying your six year old daughter shorts that say “Hottie” across the back. Don’t buy your teenage son the ghetto-fabulous Snapbacks. Don’t wear your MILF tshirt. Stop wearing glasses unless your vision requires it. Quit lacing your social network activity with vulgarity. Stop complaining – start doing. Stop posting pictures of your cleavage, your duck faces, your twerk tongue, and your gang signs. Stop being proud of your ignorance.

6.       You being offended is offensive:
I wake up every morning as a white girl who believes in Jesus, smokes cigarettes, owns a handgun, immunized my children, has processed food in her kitchen and thinks the government needs a major overhaul. I’ve offended a thousand people before I’ve even poured my coffee. Could you imagine if I got on Facebook and stated “Processed food kept my child from starving this evening”, “immunizations kept me from ever having to deal with Chicken Pox”, or *gasp* “Proud to be White”??? Oh. Mah. Gawd. Double standards are only called out when it’s controversial.

7.       First, Second, and Third Place:
Not everyone deserves a ribbon! End of discussion!

8.       Shit happens:
Simple as that. Things break. Relationships fail. Times get tough. Nothing entitles you to anything good just because you’ve had bad stuff happen. You don’t deserve a brand new car because your 15 year jalopy died. You don’t have the right to poison your children because you resent their other parent. You aren’t entitled to expect handouts instead of working harder.

9.       Duck Dynasty and Marijuana:
Really? These are your outrages and celebrations right now? *shakes head* What’s next? Making teenage pregnancy glamorous? Grooming toddlers for pedophiles? Celebrating that your uterus hasn’t fallen out after poppin’ out 19 kids? Oh wait…. 10 years from now the hit show will have the content of a 17 year girl, on her 12th child with her 62 year old boyfriend that she met backstage at the Little Miss Pretty pageant. Oh, and they’ll own a pot farm.

10.      War Crimes:                                                                                                              Do those who oppose the military not see the irony in the fact that the military is fighting for your freedoms – including your right to oppose them?

11.       Crutches are for the disabled – the truly disabled:                                          Quit with the excuses people. We’ve heard them all. Crutches don’t give you rights. I don’t care who was abusive, who left you, who hurt your feelings, what you were wrong about – these things don’t define who you ARE – they create the character you BECOME. Positive or negative, simple as that. YOU choose to drink like a fish or freebase some rock. YOU choose to be a resentful ex. YOU choose to be all the negative things people accused you of being! Where’s that my problem? We all have things in our past that we shouldn’t have had to go through. Want to hear a few of mine? Domestic violence, substance abuse (not mine, thankyouverymuch), pregnancy loss, brain tumor with residual blindness and deafness. In my life, I’ve been told that I wasn’t pretty enough, thin enough, or good enough. I’ve been threatened, been accused, and been mistreated. BIG. FREAKIN’. DEAL. Rise above it.

12.  Hipocrisy for Dummies:                                                                                   Hypocrisy is the state of falsely claiming to possess virtuous characteristics that one lacks. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy is not simply failing to practice those virtues that one preaches.  It’s also the name of a Swedish Death Metal Band.